This journey started with a strong sense of myself,
a strong sense of my calling, my passion and desire for God,
for meaning and for purpose.
Alas, what I found was a death sentence!
Little ‘me’, ‘my’, ‘I’ was denied and allowed to die.
Like a ship that sets sail from its home port (of self identify and purpose), only to become stuck at sea and never arriving at its destination (union with the Divine), so does devotion and hunger after the Divine. At some point it sets you on an irreversible path that leads to death.
Gradually (suddenly for some), your sense of self and identity dissolves and dissipates. Nothing temporal is able to satisfy or fulfil you. You seemingly lose your way, your purpose.
Having set sail with youthful zeal and confidence, I was now adrift at sea, with nothing the world offers able to satisfy or fulfil me. Identity and union with the Divine, always seemed just beyond my reach.
What a quagmire!
What a dilema!
What a frustration! This unconsummated love!
Gradually you accept your fate.
You settle with ‘not knowing’.
You accept the exchange;
Your little ‘i’ for the great ‘I AM’
Love is a death sentence
But death is not the end
It is a beginning,
for the cross is merely the path to resurrection.
and Resurrection is the awakening to life and union with God.
So yes, love is a death sentence
But the prize is worthy of it.